“Oh David. This whole affair is quite insufferable. There are hydrants all over the City and you haven’t let me near a single one. And there’s a dog run not more than seven blocks away that would be a neat little experience even if the mastiffs poop all over the place all the time, and not that I would run, Pekingeses don’t run, we regally saunter, but still, take me to the dog park please, and will you be a dear and por favor tell Hilda that yellow outfit is quite the garish number and she shan’t be wearing it again if she wants to command any respect? Now where’s my bacon?”
(Photo of Malachy the Pekingese, Best In Show at the 136th annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, giving owner David Fitzpatrick the side-eye by Barton Silverman / The New York Times)