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"I fucking hate sand," he sighed, before settling in with my newspaper and falling asleep. I turned over on to my stomach and returned to the serious business of arse-browning, keeping a wary lookout for any stranger who might stroll up the beach in our direction. My exposed white, dimpled backside was not for public consumption. Unfortunately I, too, must have nodded off.
"Mr Connolly?" A British man in shorts and sunhat was standing over a wary Billy. I woke instantly and twisted round in alarm – then realised too late that although my arse was now covered, my breasts were not. "Sorry to intrude, but could I possibly have… erm…" he looked at me, though not at my face, "both your autographs?"Billy Connolly: ‘I hate going on holiday’
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| 11 notesUsain's bolthole: life in the slow lane in Trelawny, Jamaica
"These are country folk, a world away from the bling and officiousness of Jamaica’s city-dwellers. Reserved and composed, they do things more slowly. The relaxed, happy demeanour Bolt shows on the track has its roots here."
"Love is an ecosystem. You can’t neglect it, exploit it, strip-mine it, pollute it, and wonder what happened to the birds and the bees.
"It’s time to re-think love."
Jeanette Winterson writes on re-claiming love on Valentine’s Day.
But of course that’s not all we’ve got for this global celebration of all things mushy and romantic - here’s a roundup of what’s on our site so far today in honour Saint Valentine:
- "I said I liked her bosons and then she lepton me" – Guardian Science on how scientists get romantic
- Guardian food has a guide to how to get through the restaurant date (what to do and not to do too!)
- Guardian Life and Style is asking you to share you pictures of the day here & the worst chat up lines here
- And G2 want to know the most romantic thing you’ve every done
- Live from 1pm (GMT) Mrs Edna Fry (Stephen’s better half) will be online to asnwer your questions on affairs of the heart and much more….
- On comment is free, two commenters found love & here’s an extract:
“Last summer I ventured into Cif belief and noticed a commenter there that had the same views as my own. She was full of confidence as she posted. Naturally, I would look out for her posts as I did with other commenters I came to respect over the following months, catching glimpses of her personality as she debated the topic at hand.”
- On the data blog they’ve mapped Valentine’s Day data around the world
- The cynics among you might enjoy this piece on the trending ecards
- Occupy protesters who found love
- Finally in today’s editorial we encourage you to praise the one you love:
“Today – and the day after and the day after that – remind yourself, and your partner, of all the good and extraordinary and lovable things about them.”
Some choice Valentine’s Day candy:
- Guardian Books has a gallery of love letters
- Guardian archive has a gallery of how we’ve celebrated Valentine’s Day at the Guardian over the past 150 years
(and if you don’t want to see all this romantic stuff - just turn off the button: