One of the foremost challenges of expat life is that of identifying when you earn the right to criticise the country that has kindly provided you with a home. So it’s always very helpful when someone else does it for you. Following today’s important news that the UK is a world leader in taking a cavalier attitude to spreading infections, I feel that I can finally lay it on the line: Britain, I love you, and in many ways you are much better than America. But you could really learn something from the Yanks about dealing with your snot. Comment is free
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This being Urban Dictionary, there are of course lots of naughtier ones, including the most recherche slang for cocaine I’ve ever heard in the form of “Walt Whitman” – he wrote long lines, see? And then there’s the felicitous “Hemingway”, a verb meaning to write an essay under the influence of alcohol. I think he would have been proud of that one. JK Rowling might be less happy about hers: some belletrist has proposed the children’s author’s name as a marvellously inappropriate if semantically sly term for “being under the effects of cannabis (jay) and ketamine (kay): JK Rowling. Ex: Man, I’m rowling so hard right now. Hermione Hoby unpicks how the Urban Dictionary is redefining literature’s biggest names – add your suggestions for the canon redux
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In response to our selection of 10 of the funniest Tumblrs, you told us where you get your laughs from:
trainsleep.tumblr.com was nominated by reader Mistermatt - does that guy know he’s the sleepy star of his own Tumblr?
selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com nominated by reader TDR1 - the three things that make a picture great?
heymichelfoucault.tumblr.com as chosen by reader BingoBango69 - in case you ever wondered what he was really thinking?
gothsuptrees.net shared by reader basementbandsong - proving Tumblr’s love for literal blog names
trextrying.tumblr.com proposed by reader hatboy - the trials and tribulations of a modern dinosaur
Thanks to our Tumblr friends for their suggestions too:
Thanks for all your suggestions - you’ve certainly put a smile on our face
Client: These colors don’t look right to me…
Me: Really? We’re using colors from the logo.
Client: Oh, okay. It doesn’t matter. I’m colorblind anyway.
10. This one’s strictly for the computer-literate. If you know your PDFs from your JPEGs, it’s a riot. If you don’t, you’re probably as likely to end up cringing in self-recognition. Clients From Hell collects e-mail, phone and text exchanges between freelancers and their dim-witted clients, with most of the humour centring around the misguided requests of the digitally challenged. Case in point: “I’ve decided on the photos that I would like you to use on the website. They are attached to this email. Please send them back when you’re finished as they are my only copies. Thanks!”
I will never let you forget this moment for as long as we both shall live.
5. Notes To My Future Husband – tomyhusband.tumblr.com
This one might be a little divisive. Notes To My Future Husband tends to provoke howls of recognition from women but – speaking here from personal experience – can just as often induce in men a short and embarrassing guilty silence. Not just a place to come and laugh then – also a place for serially bad boyfriends to come and learn something. By category: “GIRLFRIENDS – Treat mine well. They know more about you than you can possibly imagine.” “BACON – Bring home the bacon. Literally. I love bacon. That shit is delicious.”
(Source: , via tomyhusband)