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  1. Quote

    | 29 notes
    One of the foremost challenges of expat life is that of identifying when you earn the right to criticise the country that has kindly provided you with a home. So it’s always very helpful when someone else does it for you. Following today’s important news that the UK is a world leader in taking a cavalier attitude to spreading infections, I feel that I can finally lay it on the line: Britain, I love you, and in many ways you are much better than America. But you could really learn something from the Yanks about dealing with your snot. Comment is free

    (Source: )

  2. Photo

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    guardiancomment: Too good for us not to make a gif: This morning, Jeremy Hunt, secretary of state for culture, Olympics, media and sport, could have killed an innocent onlooker with his bell end as he rang it with too much gusto to celebrate the Games starting in London. Our colleagues on Comment is Free get in on the Olympic fun

    guardiancomment:

    Too good for us not to make a gif: This morning, Jeremy Hunt, secretary of state for culture, Olympics, media and sport, could have killed an innocent onlooker with his bell end as he rang it with too much gusto to celebrate the Games starting in London.

    Our colleagues on Comment is Free get in on the Olympic fun

  4. Quote

    | 73 notes
    This being Urban Dictionary, there are of course lots of naughtier ones, including the most recherche slang for cocaine I’ve ever heard in the form of “Walt Whitman” – he wrote long lines, see? And then there’s the felicitous “Hemingway”, a verb meaning to write an essay under the influence of alcohol. I think he would have been proud of that one. JK Rowling might be less happy about hers: some belletrist has proposed the children’s author’s name as a marvellously inappropriate if semantically sly term for “being under the effects of cannabis (jay) and ketamine (kay): JK Rowling. Ex: Man, I’m rowling so hard right now. Hermione Hoby unpicks how the Urban Dictionary is redefining literature’s biggest names – add your suggestions for the canon redux

    (Source: )

  5. You told us: the funniest Tumblrs around

    | 48 notes

    In response to our selection of 10 of the funniest Tumblrs, you told us where you get your laughs from:

    trainsleep.tumblr.com was nominated by reader Mistermatt - does that guy know he’s the sleepy star of his own Tumblr?

    selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com nominated by reader TDR1 - the three things that make a picture great?

    heymichelfoucault.tumblr.com as chosen by reader BingoBango69 - in case you ever wondered what he was really thinking?

    gothsuptrees.net shared by reader basementbandsong - proving Tumblr’s love for literal blog names

    trextrying.tumblr.com proposed by reader hatboy - the trials and tribulations of a modern dinosaur

    How could we forget Kim Jong Il looking at things as remembered by reader craiglen and badlipreading.tumblr.com, as put forward by reader mattcullis

    Thanks to our Tumblr friends for their suggestions too:

    theoinglis recommends luvandhat (Stuart Heritage who writes for the Guardian will be pleased!)

    thepoliticalnotebook showed us incorrectsylviaplathquotes and alternageek gave the nod to rockandrolltedium.

    Thanks for all your suggestions - you’ve certainly put a smile on our face

  6. | 342 notes

    clientsfromhell:

    Client: These colors don’t look right to me…

    Me: Really? We’re using colors from the logo.

    Client: Oh, okay. It doesn’t matter. I’m colorblind anyway.

    The final instalment of our top 10 funniest Tumblrs countdown

    10. This one’s strictly for the computer-literate. If you know your PDFs from your JPEGs, it’s a riot. If you don’t, you’re probably as likely to end up cringing in self-recognition. Clients From Hell collects e-mail, phone and text exchanges between freelancers and their dim-witted clients, with most of the humour centring around the misguided requests of the digitally challenged. Case in point: “I’ve decided on the photos that I would like you to use on the website. They are attached to this email. Please send them back when you’re finished as they are my only copies. Thanks!”

  7. Photo

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    literallyunbelievable: Really wow i had no idea From our G2 team’s selection of the top 10 funny Tumblrs 5. Literally Unbelievable – literallyunbelievable.orgOkay, so it’s not strictly a tumblr, but close enough. Literally Unbelievable chronicles the po-faced responses of gullible Facebook users to articles from satirical newspaper The Onion, providing both a double dose of funny and a reassuring feeling of superiority. One particular classic, from a user responding to an article titled “Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized”: “You need to contact your congressman and tell him to put a stop to this. Why isn’t the media covering this?” We can only hope the congressman contacted took it as seriously.

    literallyunbelievable:

    Really wow i had no idea

    From our G2 team’s selection of the top 10 funny Tumblrs

    5. Literally Unbelievable – literallyunbelievable.org

    Okay, so it’s not strictly a tumblr, but close enough. Literally Unbelievable chronicles the po-faced responses of gullible Facebook users to articles from satirical newspaper The Onion, providing both a double dose of funny and a reassuring feeling of superiority. One particular classic, from a user responding to an article titled “Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized”: “You need to contact your congressman and tell him to put a stop to this. Why isn’t the media covering this?” We can only hope the congressman contacted took it as seriously.

  8. Go ahead. Ask Siri how to change a flat tire.

    | 132 notes

    tomyhusband:

    I will never let you forget this moment for as long as we both shall live.

    5. Notes To My Future Husband – tomyhusband.tumblr.com

    This one might be a little divisive. Notes To My Future Husband tends to provoke howls of recognition from women but – speaking here from personal experience – can just as often induce in men a short and embarrassing guilty silence. Not just a place to come and laugh then – also a place for serially bad boyfriends to come and learn something. By category: “GIRLFRIENDS – Treat mine well. They know more about you than you can possibly imagine.” “BACON – Bring home the bacon. Literally. I love bacon. That shit is delicious.”

    (Source: , via tomyhusband)

  9. Photo

    | 3,024 notes
    The top 10 funniest Tumblrs as chosen by our G2 team 4. This one’s for the non-readers. With no captions or speech bubbles on the images, this self-explanatory blog offers laughs at a glance. Just don’t be surprised to wake from a half-hour trance having clicked through every one of its 42 pages. Typical posts include a miniature schnauzer at a desk, a husky pup in glasses peering over a well-pawed novel and a crab with a cigarette. Oh, and so many waving bears that you will begin to wonder whether they are actually waving to each other.

    The top 10 funniest Tumblrs as chosen by our G2 team

    4. This one’s for the non-readers. With no captions or speech bubbles on the images, this self-explanatory blog offers laughs at a glance. Just don’t be surprised to wake from a half-hour trance having clicked through every one of its 42 pages. Typical posts include a miniature schnauzer at a desk, a husky pup in glasses peering over a well-pawed novel and a crab with a cigarette. Oh, and so many waving bears that you will begin to wonder whether they are actually waving to each other.

    (Source: , via animalsthatdopeoplethings)

  10. Photo

    | 910 notes
    lovecraft:xwidep: Elephant on the Underground Click the image to link to a menagerie of animals on the London Underground 3. I Love Charts – ilovecharts.tumblr.comA mixed bag, this one. I Love Charts combines the just plain hilarious with the simply fascinating. Taking entries from all over the internet and beyond, an ILC post can be anything from a 19th century pie chart to a hand-drawn Venn diagram, and will almost always raise either a laugh or an eyebrow. For people who see the funny in a bar chart titled “Frequency of Lying” that spikes at “I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service,” or a colour-coded map of the states titled “Classification of young American females according to Brian Wilson.”

    lovecraft:xwidep:

    Elephant on the Underground

    Click the image to link to a menagerie of animals on the London Underground

    3. I Love Charts – ilovecharts.tumblr.com

    A mixed bag, this one. I Love Charts combines the just plain hilarious with the simply fascinating. Taking entries from all over the internet and beyond, an ILC post can be anything from a 19th century pie chart to a hand-drawn Venn diagram, and will almost always raise either a laugh or an eyebrow. For people who see the funny in a bar chart titled “Frequency of Lying” that spikes at “I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service,” or a colour-coded map of the states titled “Classification of young American females according to Brian Wilson.”

    (via ilovecharts)

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