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Keith Stuart on Rayman Origins: his full guide to the Christmas gift ideas to please the gamer in your life is here.
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I don’t particularly mind the level of violence in computer games, partly because it’s absurd, and partly because I’m hopelessly desensitised. What I do object to is the dick-swinging machismo that infests games like this. If I had a penny for every time I’ve spent the opening moments of a game sitting in the back of a transport vehicle listening to a soldier called Vasquez repeatedly use the word “motherfucker”, I’d have enough money to buy the Sesame Street game instead. And even that probably starts with Sergeant Grover warning Private Elmo that “Shit is about to get real”.
Every soldier in every game I’ve ever played is a dick. A dick that sounds like a 14-year-old boy reading dialogue discarded from an old-school Schwarzenegger action movie for displaying too much swagger. They seem like a bunch of try-hard bell-ends, desperate to highlight their gruff masculinity. What, exactly, are they overcompensating for?
Charlie Brooker on why games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 are “inherently wussy”.
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Well, we could spend days making our way through the perilous cavern dungeon levels to slay Lizalfos and King Dodongo in exchange for Goron’s Ruby, but look – some fish! In a pond! Let’s catch some! For no reason! For two hours!
Matt Hill on what he’s learned from two decades playing The Legend of Zelda