"In five years’ time, all news articles will be a single coloured icon that fires out info-nuggets", writes Charlie Brooker

Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian

A remix of his masterful ditty on the Sun from our own Charlie Brooker on Channel 4’s 10 O’Clock Live  - on media guardian’s viral video chart this week (compiled by Unruly Media and fettled up by Josh)

“Japan has, for years, been presented as a kind of Nerd Mecca. Not only is it the undisputed gadget capital of the world, it’s a place where being a geek (or otaku) is comfortably mainstream.”
Charlie Brooker goes to Japan. Check out the all new Tokyo city guide here.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for sharing thoughts, no matter how banal (as every column I have ever written rather sadly proves). Humans will always babble. If someone wants to tweet that they can’t decide whether to wear blue socks or brown socks, then fair enough. But when sharing becomes automated, I get the heebie-jeebies.”
“It’s disconcerting, defecating into a robot’s mouth.”
Charlie Brooker writes from Japan - ‘Green Kit Kats, toilets that lift the seat themselves, helpful strangers’
“2011 has been like one big end-of-season finale; a climactic episode in which multiple story arcs come to a head. It’s used up far too much news for one year. How can 2012 possibly compete? Surely the event cupboard is bare. Unless planet Earth gets attacked by a 200ft Bruno Tonioli robot that screams machine code while copulating with global landmarks – which at the time of writing seems unlikely – it’s going to feel like a damp squib by comparison.”
— Charlie Brooker on his end of year review


I don’t particularly mind the level of violence in computer games, partly because it’s absurd, and partly because I’m hopelessly desensitised. What I do object to is the dick-swinging machismo that infests games like this. If I had a penny for every time I’ve spent the opening moments of a game sitting in the back of a transport vehicle listening to a soldier called Vasquez repeatedly use the word “motherfucker”, I’d have enough money to buy the Sesame Street game instead. And even that probably starts with Sergeant Grover warning Private Elmo that “Shit is about to get real”.

Every soldier in every game I’ve ever played is a dick. A dick that sounds like a 14-year-old boy reading dialogue discarded from an old-school Schwarzenegger action movie for displaying too much swagger. They seem like a bunch of try-hard bell-ends, desperate to highlight their gruff masculinity. What, exactly, are they overcompensating for?

Charlie Brooker on why games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 are “inherently wussy”.