A Masaai woman casts her vote in the Kenyan general election in Ilbissil.


Demand for clichés is expected to reach a peak as foreign correspondents fly in to cover the election. “We anticipate a run on ‘hotly contested’ and ‘neck and neck’” said an unemployed militant.

Every reporter will be issued with an election package as they step out of the plane and are greeted by the tropical heat of Africa.

Non-government organisations are understood to have teams on standby, ready to supply quotes about rampant corruption, grinding poverty, and soaring unemployment.

Photograph: Riccardo Gangale/AP