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September 12, 2012 | 73 notes

• Q: Why are there lectures at 9am? Bilal Khan, City, London
• A: Because the adult world insists on operating during pain-in-the-arse hours. Get used to it. Incidentally, don't take Pro-Plus caffeine pills to stay awake. They're worse than heroin.
• Q: I don't drink alcohol. Is my social life going to be at risk while at university? Jaber Mohamed, Leeds
• A: Only if you actively avoid people who are drinking, which would be a shame. Even when stone-cold sober, if you're out for the evening with people who drink, you start to pick up some kind of hilarity-by-proxy anyway. I've got a phobia about vomiting and as a result I didn't get authentically drunk until I was about 24 or 25. But I hung around with dope-smokers, who didn't tend to drink much anyway. It would be a shame if you didn't develop some kind of vice for you to regret later.
• Q: How prevalent is first-time drug use at UK universities? Daniel Sinclair, Cardiff
• A: I don't know, but I smoked my first joint in a hall of residence, so it was certainly prevalent for me. As the hoary "slippery slope" cliche goes, the person who introduced me to marijuana later sold me LSD, ecstasy, speed and cocaine. Taking acid was both one of the best and worst things I've ever done in my life, with the emphasis probably on the "worst". But being a natural lightweight, I never took anything in excess, apart from dope, which rendered me chronically lazy. I'm unbelievably boring now and only drink at social events, which I tend to avoid anyway.

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