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    Of all the irritating “Keep Calm” bastardisations, the most irritating of all is the one that reads “Keep Calm and Eat a Cupcake”. Cupcakes used to be known as fairy cakes, until something happened a few years ago. I don’t know what the thing was, because I wasn’t paying attention. All I know is that suddenly middle-class tosspoles everywhere were holding artisan cupcakes aloft and looking at them and pointing and making cooing sounds and going on and bloody on about how much they loved them. I wouldn’t mind, but cupcakes are bullshit. And everyone knows it. Charlie Brooker on new year’s resolutions, and cupcakes.

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